Pools of Tiger's Eye
by PrincessCalamity864
Summary: Voldemort has made an alliance with the gods! Well, just one demigod and his name is Fern Faunabelle. Snape is left to keep a watchful eye on him. Will Snape realize that this air headed hippie boy is cleverer than he seems? Probably not, because of his rocky past with Fern's father and he can't see Fern past his last name. Rated M for drug use, cursing, nudity, and maybe sex later
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own the characters of Harry Potter, including the totally hot Professor Severus Snape. I do own my OC, Fern, though :D**

**Please bear with me because I don't know any of the technical facts in Harry Potter like what exactly happens after you step of the Howarts Express or the schedule of the classes and whatnot. I only started getting interested in it because I started watching the movies and reading the books, but I'm learning. And I think Snape is totes hot, I know I already said that but it's true! (When I watched Severus die, I was crying my eyes out and had to resort the reading fanfiction to mend my broken heart :P, I don't think I'll ever forgive J.K Rowling for that TT^TT) **

**Yes, I am using my character for story-altering purposes like the sad fan girl I am :'D**

It was just a couple days before the beginning of the new school year and Snape was not thrilled. Again, he was summoned for another Death Eater Meeting at Malfoy Manor. Again he would have to deal with Bellatrix pressing her breasts against his arm and attempting to play footsies with him. Again he would have to bear with Voldemort ranting about world domination and express his hatred for the boy Snape's life was shackled to. But this last part was not the case.

Voldemort seemed to be in a very good mood, "Death Eaters! After years of _your_ failure I have took it upon myself and have found a weapon that will most assuredly put an end to Harry Potter and bring the world to its knees!" he bellowed.

Bellatrix trilled wildly and had an insane grin on her face. Lucius had a pleasant smirk on his face, and the little hairs on Snape's neck stood on end. _"What could it possibly be?" _he wondered.

"Severus!" Voldemort barked.

Snape snapped his attention back to Voldemort, "Yes, my Lord?"

"Say it would take an act of the gods to do such a thing." he ordered.

"Sir, I don-"

"JUST DO IT"

Snape sighed, "It would take an act of the gods to do such a thing." he said monotonously." Voldemort cackled, "Oh, how ironic you should say that, dear Severus, for that's exactly what I have obtained!" he said triumphantly.

Everyone was shocked, Greyback was first to speak, "You don't mean-"

Voldemort cackled again, "Yes, yes I do mean! I have convinced the gods to help us fight for our noble cause!" The Death Eaters were enthralled, "Here, Here!" they shouted.

"Yer exaggerating jus' a bit, don' cha think?" a warm, nasally voice with a California Valley drawl and a bit of a Liverpudlian accent asked. The voice's owner stepped out of the shadows.

It was merely a teenage boy, about sixteen or seventeen years of age. He was tall and was frighteningly skinny. He had vibrant peach skin, a soul patch under his lip, and long pointy ears that had little golden hoops along it.

His hair was an elbow-length mane of strawberry blond and was black at the roots and tips. He had straight, long bangs that curtained either side on his face, his hair has loosely braided and entwined with fuchsia puffapod flowers.

The boy wore a yellow button up shirt with of then unbuttoned to expose the top of his chest, blue bellbottom jeans, and tan sandals. He had a wooden peace sign amulet that was adorned with multi-colored gems around his neck, and a brown wooden guitar was strapped behind his back.

Voldemort face-palmed, "We went over this, Fern, you couldn't wear that today, how will anyone give you any respect when your dressed like that?" he asked with a sigh.

Fern smiled apologetically, "Sorry, m' Lord, but I couldn't find the black robes you gave me. And yer stretching the truth jus' a lil', it's only me who's helping you. And how many times must I tell you that we are not truly 'gods'?" he said.

Voldemort deflated just a little, "Who cares, the other _patron guardians_, as you like to call yourself, will come around as soon as they have seen what a wonderful decision you made, young man." he turned toward the assembly of Death Eaters, "This is Fern Faunabelle."

"Hi, Fern." the Death Eaters chorused lethargically.

Voldemort continued, "Some of you may have known his father from Hogwarts, the late Phineas Achilles Fauanabelle, who was _brutally_ murdered by those serving under the Ministry and destroying Fern's home in the process." he said with feign sorrow.

Snape knew that was a damn lie, the Death Eaters had been ordered to go to Ambrosia Forest, raid it, and burn it to the ground. He wasn't apart of the operation, for he always managed to slip away from missions that caused people harm, but he had heard from Lucius. When he asked Lucius why Voldemort had ordered them to do so, the aristocrat had said the Dark Lord hadn't given them that much information and that it wasn't his place to ask.

Bellatrix howled in laughter, "A _wood nymph_, all you have is this _hippie boy? _He isn't even written about in mythology, where's Zeus, where's Hades? Besides, he's only a demigod." she said.

The look on Voldemort's face was murderous but before he could punish Bellatrix himself Fern pulled out his wand. It was made from the wood of a weeping willow and the core was the corpse of a snake from Medusa's head.

"_Velóna desmév̱oun!_" he said as he pointed his wand. Bellatrix's was instantly bound and the woman shrieked in pain, "AH! MAKE IT STOP! Ah- Ah!" her bound body was now writhing on the ground. Her throat seemed to have been bound for only short squeaks were coming out past her lips. Multiple pools of blood were seeping out though some of her pores.

Everyone gasped; even the Dark Lord seemed impressed. Fern had a very bored expression on and his lazy smile was still in place, "Like, y' might wanna reconsider whatcha said, Ma'am."

Snape raised an eyebrow; he would have been slightly impressed if Fern wasn't fighting the Dark side. Bellatrix could only make a choked gasp and a stiff nod. The curse was lifted and Fern gave a triumphant smirk.

Voldemort was astounded, "Just what magic was that, boy?"

"Well, Fae Magic is mainly said in Greek and is slightly different than Wizard Magic, which's mainly said in Latin. The curse you just saw was _Velóna desmév̱oun, _it's a binding curse that chokes and drives invisible needles into the body. The needles can go deeper if the caster chooses. Had I brought the curse to its full potential, our lil' friend here's internal organs would have been punctured." he said while smiling sweetly at Bellatrix. The madwoman's face went white as paper.

"You must show me such magic." Voldemort said. Fern looked apologetic, "I'm sorry, m' lord, but this magic can only be cast by Faerie folk." he bowed his head respectfully.

Voldemort looked rater dejected, "Fine, fine. Snape!" he barked again.

"Yes, my Lord."

"You are to be Fern's mentor and keep an eye on him for he will be acting as a spy in Hogwarts. That means you have play nice with him, no matter what house he may be in, Draco. He'll probably be in Hufflepuff like his father, poor guy." he said shaking his head at Fern.

Had Severus not been a composed man, he would have been sputtering and probably would have thrown a tantrum on the spot. He already had one brat to watch over and he certainly didn't need another one, especially one who worked against his true cause.

But Snape was collected and mature so he replied, "Of course, my Lord."

Fern smiled brightly at Snape, "Groovy! Like, I'm totally sher we'll get along very well." for the first time, Fern looked Snape in the eye. You definitely could tell by Fern's eyes that he wasn't human. His narrow, slanted eyes were the color of the tiger's eye gemstone and little iridescent wisps slowly floated around his irises in a lazy, calming pattern. His cocky looking eyebrows were perfectly arched and he looked permanently half asleep.

Fearing that his eyes might have hypnotic powers, Snape broke eye contact with him. Voldemort ended the meeting, "Someday I'll kill Harry Potter and rule the world, blah, blah, blah, reign of terror, and all of that. Get out of here so I can enjoy a well deserved bubble bath."

"But this is my house," Lucius said indignantly. Voldemort gave a horrid smile, "Now, Lucius, you be a good little boy and give your house keys to your Dark Lord so he can party for the weekend. You can crash at Bellatrix's house." he said.

"YAY!" Bellatrix squealed, already seeming to have recovered from the curse. Fern had cast a healing spell out of pity.

Narcissia and Draco looked at Lucius pleadingly, the first time they went to Bellatrix's house was when Draco was four so he could see his Auntie, it was also their last time.

Lucius, being the spineless man rich guy he was, held out the keys and Veldemort _accioed_ it into his hand. The Death Eaters filed out of the room and apparated to wherever the hell they wanted.

Voldemort then giggled excitedly and ran off to explore Malfoy Manor, glad that he would be spending the entire weekend emptying Lucius' wine cellar, going through his secret stash of porn, and breaking his valuables.

Snape gave one more look at Fern and said, "I hope you know what you've just gotten yourself into, Faunabelle." with that, he apparated back to Hogwarts.

The strawberry blond only laughed bemusedly, "Oh, fer sher, luv." he said with a glint in his mystical eyes.

* * *

><p>Snape had returned back to Hogwarts and muttered the password, "Marzipan" to get into Dumbledore's office.<p>

"Ah, you're back, Severus." the grandfatherly man said from behind his desk, "Would you care for some tea?" he asked.

The Potions Master accepted, knowing that Dumbledore would not take for for an answer, "Albus, may we please skip the formalities and get to the point?" he asked after taking a sip of tea.

Dumbledore nodded, "Of course, Severus, what have you learned so far?" he said with a weird twinkle in his eye that wasn't like the one he usually had.

"It appears we're up against something even our Golden Boy will have trouble beating, the Dark Lord has asked assistance from the gods." he said.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, "The gods?" he repeated, "They usually have no interest in the affairs of humans." he said gravelly.

Snape snorted humorlessly, "Lucky for us, it's only one god who is on the Dark Lord's side, a demigod really, his name is Fern. He's the son of Phineas Faunabelle, I'm sure you remember that insane Hufflepuff." he said frigidly.

Dumbledore smiled, "Yes, I remember the boy; he was a very eccentric and loving lad."

Snape scowled, "Loving? Indeed, he 'loved' about three people each night." he said with disdain.

The Headmaster shook his head fondly, "Yes, I remember, it was nice that he finally found someone to truly love and settle down with. A wood nymph named Florence if I recall correctly."

"Oh yes," Snape said, "The uneducated nymph who couldn't even spell her name without making a mistake. I recall Faunabelle would frequently sneak out to the lake past curfew to meet her, he caused you great trouble with that."

Dumbledore nodded, "He was always a handful; I would love to see his son, a pity he's fighting for the Dark."

"You won't have to wait; he is going to enroll in Hogwarts for the new school year. No doubt he will act as a spy, I have a feeling that his goal will be to get close to Potter and then exploit his weaknesses." Snape said.

Dumbledore tapped his chin thoughtfully, "That does sound like something the Dark Lord would plan, I want you to keep a close eye on Fern."

"I believe this is not a very light matter, Albus, this boy is skilled and can cast Fae Magic, Dark Fae Magic; he already made an example out of Bellatrix today using the_ Velóna desmév̱oun_ curse."

Dumbledore stroked his beard, "Really? He is very skilled then, even advanced Fae mages have difficulty casting a spell like that." he said in a tone more impressed than fearful, "Nevertheless; there is not much we can do, as there are not many ways to subdue a god."

Snape felt defeated but made a mental note to do research in mythology and get information about Fae Magic, it would probably be in the restricted section, "Concerning the Death Eater meeting, that if all the new information I have for now. If you'll excuse me, Headmaster." he said and left briskly, silently preparing and dreading the new enemy.

**End of chapter! I admit it seems pretty lame and forced at the beginning but hopefully I'll be able to get smoother as I make more chapters.**

**Please review, darlings!**

**Oh, and in your reviews, vote which house you want Fern to be put in! The most votes will have a **_**chance**_** of becoming the house Fern resides in (doesn't mean I'll actually pick it though XD)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, guys, thanks for the reviews. (Please note the sarcasm in my typing) I don't own 'Harry Potter', I never owned 'Harry Potter', and I never will own 'Harry Potter'. Frankly, I'd prefer to own Severus Snape but I don't own him either D:**

**Look, I know everybody hates OCs, even I'm not too fond of OCs! But can you pretty super duper please at least review how much you hate my OC?**

**I need more votes for which house Fern should be in, I still can't decide!**

The day after the Death Eater meeting, Fern apparated back to Wizarding California, Ambrosia Forest, to be more precise. The raiding of the forest village and murder of his father was only a month ago but Fern didn't have time to mourn, he and his mother were the guardians of this forest and had to focus on cleanup and relocating the survivors.

"M'kay, like, ya'll ten put the new Devil's Snare sprouts over there and then add jus' a bit of fairy dust to make it grow a lil' faster!" he called out the the water nymphs. He then tsked at the dark sprites, "Dudes, I said no slacking off, get yer asses up there or I'm gon' hafta put ya'll in the naughty box!"

At the words 'naughty box', the young, mischievous sprites straightened up and got back to carrying small bags acorns to be planted.

"Aw, Fern babe, yer doing a very good job." Florence said in her melodious Valley Girl accent. Florence wore the same hippie themed clothing as her son's and her big, drowsy eyes were the same color as Fern's, her hair was long but auburn colored. Unlike Fern, she had beautiful transparent turquoise wings with golden swirling patterns that shimmered in fairy dust.

Fern sighed and smiled sadly as he looked at the forest's current state, the raid had caused a fire and had killed many people and destroyed many trees and shrubs the inhabitants called home. Thankfully, they had connections with people who were more than willing to donate sprouts, trees, food and supplies to the victims. All Fern really had to do was work with what they had.

"Yer supposed to be in bed, Doc still say's y' aren't a hundred percent yet. Those burns on yer arm also need some salve." he said as he gently pushed his mother back into a cave and guided her back into her transfigured bed made from a pile of leaves.

"I'm perfectly fine, Bambie," Florence lightly protested even though she pulled the covers over her head she then smiled at her son and reached an arm to cup his face, "Yer such a good boy...Daddy's so proud of you, y' know that?" she said in a soft voice.

Fern's eyes watered immediately and smiled sadly, "Yeah, I know." he mumbled. Florence's face turned serious "An' you should also know that yer Daddy would never want you hanging around with those Death Eaters, even if it is to protect us." she said.

The strawberry blond sighed, "Maw, I have to. It's gone too far now, they're hurting us now. I dunno why Zeus hasn't done anything about it yet." he said.

Florence shook her head, "Yer gon' get hurt babe, or worse, y' can't trust those wand wieldin' nutters, all o' them, no matter whether they called themselves 'Dark' or 'Light' or whatever, they will manipulate you. That's why we don't bother ourselves with 'em no more." she said.

Fern's eyes hardened and the little rainbow wisps in his irises moved ominously, "Well mindin' our own business didn't keep Daddy alive, did it?" he said in a hurt tone and strode out of the cave, ignoring his mother's pleas to calm down.

The demigod rubbed his face, there was so much work to do and he had to leave for Hogwarts as well in two days, he cast a tempus spell. It was three o' clock in the afternoon; perhaps he'd have a chance of catching some zeds.

"BAMBIE!" a high-pitched voice said. Next thing Fern knew, he was on the ground with a familiar weight on top of his stomach.

Fern looked up to see his girlfriend, Marigold, looking down at him with her usual beaming smile.

Marigold was small, being a little less than five feet, and had short, curly red hair, and big purple eyes with iridescent wisps like Fern. Her wings were red with purple trim, all the nymphs and faeries had wings except Fern because of his father's genetics. She was wearing an orange peasant shirt, a brown bohemian skirt, and flip flops.

"Goldie, I'm tired, I need to take a quick nap and then keep workin'." Fern said wearily.

Marigold bounced on Fern's stomach, earning a pained groan from the boy, "But, y' never have time for me or the gang anymore! And yer leavin' for that Wizarding school in two days!" she whined.

Fern felt guilty, he had been devoting his time to his little mission and then even more time to reorganizing the forest, he had completely forgot all about his girl.

"Babe, I'm sorry, would you like to cuddle up with me an' take a nap together, jus' like old times?" he asked, his thin lips curling into a cat-like grin and he raised an eyebrow suggestively. Nap time for Fern and Marigold was barely ever truly nap time.

Marigold snickered, "Y' naughty lil' perv."

The two found a big tree that wasn't burned, it had warm sunshine peeking through its leaves and it looked like a really cozy place to snooze.

Fern leaned against the tree with Marigold lying on his lap, after a few minutes of silence she began unbuttoning his shirt and trailing kissed on his chest.

The blond let out a quivering breath and smirked, "Ain't we feisty today." he murmured and tilted her chin up to kiss her fully on the lips; he slipped his tongue into her mouth and let out a soft moan.

Marigold smiled and wrestled her tongue with Fern's; she wrapped her arns around Fern's neck and ground her hips against his.

"Ohh, damn yes, babe." Fern groaned in pleasure, he gently cupped Marigold's breast through her shirt and kneaded it softly, "Y' like that don't you, darlin'?" he asked huskily.

Marigold arched to the touch and reached out to nibble Fern's pointy, sensitive ear; she licked and tugged at the little golden hoops on it.

"Hey, watcha doin keepin' all the fun to yerselves?" a pair of harmonious voices asked. The snogging couple (Snog is a pretty ugly word :/) looked up and saw a smirking boy and girl.

"Xerxes, you have yer fun with him last time and Zora, don't think I didn't see you eating his face two days ago." she said and stuck her tongue out playfully.

Zora and Xerxes were twin water nymphs with short, wavy indigo hair and deep green eyes with the trademark iridescent wisps. They did not have wings but instead grew mermaid-like tails when they were in water.

Fern chuckled, "Easy, ya'll, there's plenty o' me to go around." he said gently and pulled the twins down into his lap.

"Come 'ere, you." he said and kissed Xerxes while running his hand through his watery locks. Xerxes rutted his groin against Fern's and the two boys let out pleasureful groans.

Zora giggled and pulled Marigold's hair and sucked her neck roughly, earning a moan from the wind nymph. Marigold groped Zora's breasts and rubbed against her like a cat in heat.

The make-out orgy became more heated and they switched partners every now and then, going from Fern/Zora to Xerxes/Marigold, back to Fern/Marigold to Zora/Xerxes.

"That...was...awesome." Xerxes panted after they had all came down from their climax and were now cuddled against Fern's chest and lap. All of them had lost their clothing somewhere in the middle of the passion. Fern's hair was now unbraided and splayed wildly on his back.

Marigold pointed and Fern and Xerxes, "Better get those boners fixed, yeah?"

Zora smiled, "I can fix that." she said enthusiastically and reached out to touch Fern's erection.

The latter teen swatted her hand and frowned a little, "Chill, man, s'not cool." he said firmly. He turned to Xerxes and nodded his head towards the river up ahead were the two would customary stop their erections in the chilly water. Fern was all for kissing and having a good time but sex was out of the question.

Xerxes jumped into the water and immediately his legs starting from his mid thigh down transformed into a mermaid tail, he vaguely thought how insulting it was that humans sometimes mistook water nymphs for mermaids; mermaids were quite ugly.

Fern gingerly plummeted into the river, it wasn't too cold but it was enough to give him goosebumps, "Hey, Xerxes, y' know I'm leavin' in two days, right?" he asked rhetorically.

The water nymph nodded uncomfortably, when he Fern heard Fern's reasons for going, he though the strawberry blond was being reckless, "Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, I jus' want y' to know I'm not doin' this jus' for revenge, m'kay?" Fern said.

Xerxes stared blankly at him, "...Then why? What're you doin' this for?" he asked plainly.

Fern was taken aback slightly, all these days after he had told his family and friends his plan, no one had asked him why he was doing this, they just spoke against it.

"Those Death Eaters destroyed our home and killed my dad, and for what? Because they wanted power from the gods, no doubt they were going to kidnap, you, me, yer sis, everyone, and use us to get a ransom from Zeus." he said.

He then added "I never told the girls or anyone else this but, the night of the raid, the Death Eaters came into our house and grabbed Maw first and then me. Before they dragged us away, they decided to have a little 'fun' with Maw first and..." he couldn't bear to say the rest.

Xerxes put his hand over Fern's and looked at him with sorrowful green eyes, "You mean they...?"

Fern shook his head, his wet hair swished in front of his face, "No, they were about, they had her unclothed n' everything, I was tied up and was about to suffer the same fate as her...But Daddy saved us, he wupped all o' their arses." he said and smiled wryly remembering how bad-ass his father looked while casting hexes and curses.

"In the end, he got hit with this weird curse I've never heard of, I don't even remember it's name. It made him real weak and his health just deteriorated before our eyes. Since Maw n' me didn' know what curse he was hit with, there was nothin' we could do...he died around dawn, at least we all got to see the sunrise on last time before he went." he said, his voice cracking slightly.

"Aw, Fern, I never knew, I can't believe you'd still want people touchin' you after...that." Xerxes said.

Fern aloofly shrugged, "S'no big deal, they didn't really do anything to me. Besides, at least that experience hasn't affected my...performance." he said slyly and smooched Xerxes on the cheek.

Xerxes chuckled softly and put a hand on his friend's shoulder and looked down into the crystal clear water, "Well, I think m' stiffy's all gone, how 'bout you?" he asked.

Fern nodded, "Ta, I'm all good, you go on 'head without me, I wanna be alone fer a bit." he said as he intertwined his hand with Xerxes'.

The water nymph grunted in agreement, "...Oh and Fern, I'll keep all y' just said a secret if y' want." he said as he stepped out of the river and cast a drying spell on himself without need of a wand.

"Thanks, that means a lot t' me." Fern said with a smile, "Yer m' bestest friend in the world."

Xerxes snorted, "Fern, that was corny even fer you." he quickly through on his clothes and ran to catch up with Zora and Marigold.

Fern looked up at the sky, the sun was still shining brightly, it was probably around four thirty now. The demigod exhaled tiredly; there was still quite a lot to do before he left for Hogwarts. He pulled himself out of the water and dried himself with his wand, being part wizard made it a little harder to do wandless magic. Fern looked at the wand with nostalgia; his father had made it for him for his tenth birthday.

Phineas home schooled Fern and taught the boy everything he learned from his education at Hogwarts, although he himself was never really good at Potions so he and Fern didn't get into that subject too much.

Fern looked at the engraved message on the wand, "Meus es tu, solis ortum et occasum." he read softly and wiped away a stray tear from him cheek. As he threw on his clothes and slowly made it back to the village, Fern felt a warm breeze and a familiar presence caress him. Yes, as long as that feeling never left him Fern would be able to carry on.

**Hurrah for the cheesy and terribly cliché ending :D**

**Pweez review guys and I'll work on the next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Harry Potter so eff off! Just kidding, you can eff on as you**** please :)**

**This is a revised version of chapter 3 because I felt that I needed to explain things better and I found a way to make the paragraphs not look like columns. (I was using an online proofreader and it made it look that way)  
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**WARNINGS: Drug use in this chapter and probably many more to come cuz**** Fern is a trippy faerie.**

Two days had passed and Fern woke up in his new bed, in his new room, in his new cottage. Fern and the other wood nymphs had used most of their energy making the newly planted vegetation grow quickly; the animals and little sprites and pixies were able to make their homes as soon as that happened. Building material that Florence had ordered had finally come in so the larger faeries quickly built their houses with the help of magic

"Fern, wake up, don' tell me yer backin' down now!" Florence called from downstairs.

Fern used one hand to scratch the tangled rat's nest he called his hair and the other to scratch his soul patch, "I'm comin', I'm comin'!"

He reluctantly crawled out of bed and was now in his naked glory. Save for the necklace he always wore, Fern always went to bed unclad. Hell, if he had it his way he'd stay naked until autumn started. Fern fumbled around the room and into the hallway, he had pretty bad eyesight to be honest. He went to the bathroom to answer the call of nature, brush his teeth, and take a quick shower. When he went back into his room he again put on an impressively colorful hippie outfit.

Fern wore brown tank top under a white off-shoulder shirt that said 'Peace Out' in rainbow lettering and had flowers and a dove on it. He wiggled into a ripped pair of faded blue bell-bottom jeans and slipped on a pair of blue Converse high tops. He picked up his guitar and slung it behind his back.

"Now let's see about m' hair..." he muttered and cast a few styling charms on himself, it made his long hair relatively straight but it still had its natural wild exotic-ness. He tied a green paisley bandanna around his head and put on a pair of brown shaded sunglasses and smiled, "I look sexy." he blew a kiss at himself in the mirror. Fern grabbed his bags and hurried downstairs.

"G'mornin', Fern, I made y' some breakfast." Florence said. There was buttered toast, oatmeal, scrambled eggs, grass, herbs, and Fern's favorite catnip tea.

He sat down and tore through the meal eagerly and his mother idly thought whether her son had a tapeworm since he ate so much but seemed like he was on a hunger strike.

"So," Fern asked, "When're we leavin'?" he asked his mom.

"Hey, ya ain't leavin' without no g'byes!"a chorus of voices said, climbing into the house through the kitchen window was Marigold, Xerxes, and Zora. The three teens sat down around the breakfast table and helped themselves to the food without a word.

Florence smiled, apparently people entering through the windows and eating your food without asking was a common practice, "Morning, kids, make this goodbye fast 'cause we gotta boogie outta here in," she cast a _fora_ spell with the flourish of her hand, which is the Fae equivalent of a _tempus_, "...Thirty minutes...yeah, never mind jus' take yer time." she said.

Marigold hugged Fern and gave him a kiss on both cheeks, "Imma miss you, Fernie! Send us letters, y' hear?"

Zora kissed him as well and sighed while looking at Fern, "Don' ferget about us now, n' if you find someone y' like at school tell me, I'll be sher to keep it secret from Goldie." she snicked but soon stopped when the other three shared awkward looks.

Their relationship, if one could even call it a true relationship, was rather dysfunctional. Sure, it seemed like sunshine and roses to the outside world but that wasn't the case. Although they were all friends since birth, Fern had taken a romantic liking to Xerxes and Zora while he and Marigold were beginning to date. Marigold, who fancied the twins as well, let them join in their love affair.

This caused occasional strains between the four friends, they held secrets from each other and jealousy usually revolved around Fern. Sometimes tensions and drama would get so bad, they'd break up their amateur band called Fucktown (A/N: In honor of the dude who uploads awesome Beatles songs on Youtube) for at least a week and then they'd come back together again. This cycle happened every month. So in truth, Fern had two girlfriends and one boyfriend whom he loved more than almost anyone, his mom and dad always came first.

Xerxes hugged Fern and kissed him, "Aw, Bambie, don' leave me with these harpies." he joked and punched Fern lightly in the shoulder.

The demigod chuckled, "Yer on yer own, guy." he then turned to his mother, "Maw, you've been 'round Hogwarts, right, what's it like?"

Florence hummed thoughtfully, "Well, y' know I never attended that school, being that I'm not a wizard. I jus' hung out around the Forbidden Forest, yer Daddy snuck me into the Hufflepuff common room once and introduced me to his housemates, they were pretty groovy. The Gryffindors, if I reckon correctly, were hero-wannabes; the Ravenclaw were smartasses; and the Slytherins, oh, they were amusing to watch, what with them always having sticks, or wands rather, up their asses."

Fern laughed to the point were he made disturbing snorts and his friends awkwardly inched away from him, "'W-wands up their asses'! I'm definitely using that on someone!" he wheezed out with tears of laughter on his face.

Florence continued, "There was one Slytherin who caught m' eye, I think he was friends with yer Daddy even though he was two years older than the boy. He was a little guy, had a big nose and greasy-ish sorta hair. Even though he was a prude most of the time, he was a cute kid. I don't think he liked me much, though." she said a little sadly.

"Aw, who wouldn't like you, Florence? Yer like, the coolest mom evar." Marigold said.

"That's real nice of ya, Goldie." Florence said, "But I think it was 'cause he n' Fern's daddy were in a previous relationship, so I guess the poor kid felt I as intruding. Phineas and I offered sharing amongst each other, like how you guys do it. It lasted a while, but I don't think Wizard folk do that, different customs, I guess."

Xerxes snickered, "So did you and that boy have like, some sort of bitch  
>fight to see who'd get Phineas?"<p>

Fern snorted at the thought of Florence taking off her earrings and smacking the shit out of someone, she only did things like that on Black Friday.

The goddess chuckled, "Naw, actually the guy left. He was all like 'If you can't choose between me and her, I guess you don't really want me after all!'." she said in a whiny voice, "N' then yer Daddy was all like 'C'mon, luv, why're yeh being so feckin' difficult?'. N' then the guy was like-" she scrunched her face up and mustered up an angry red color, "N' Then yer Daddy was like-"

"Florence, we get it." Zora interrupted.

"Oh, okay, well long story short, the big-nosed kid broke up with us, I mean yer Daddy, he only had eyes for Phineas. A real shame too, he was good-lookin'. I'd always try to get him alone and get him to soften up to me, but...well, that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes." Florence said with a shrug.

Fern cast a _fora_ again and got up from the table, "Okay, guys, story time's over, we gotta boogie on outta here."

Marigold cupped her boyfriend's face, "Oh, Bambie, don' get yerself in trouble n' make me worry, n', n'- Aw, Fern!" she let out an pained sigh and hugged him tightly.

Fern's narrow, cat-like eyes widened a little. Marigold was not one to get upset easily."...I'll try to get in as lil' trouble as possible. It's only two years, hun, n' I'll come back home during breaks." he said, his voice was honey-like, smooth, slow, and sweet.

The girl sniffled, "Fer sher?"

Fern tilted her head up and kissed her softly, "Fer sher." he whispered and let Marigold go into Zora's arms, "Xerxes?"

Said boy looked up at Fern, "Yeah?"

Fern took Xerxes' and his mother's hand, he tried to keep a straight face, "Woman, behold your son...Bastard, behold yo new momma." he said.

The others laughed but Fern only smiled, "C'mon, I'm serious; I want ya to take care of Maw when I'm not here, 'kay? Make sher she takes her burn potions n' gets lots of rest," he leaned in close so only Xerxes could hear, "I've already had a large piece of m' heart ripped out, I don't wanna lose the rest of it." the tone in his voice was solemn.

Xerxes nodded seriously.

Fern smiled brightly, "Good," he gathered his bags and linked arms with his mother, "Bye, bitches!" he roared jovially and suddenly Disapparated away.

The two gods had ended up outside the Leaky Cauldron, Florence looked woozy, "Bambie, y' know I don't dig that Apparating stuff." She made her wings disappear so as not to take up space.

Fern shrugged, "Y' didn't expect to fly all the way to London with me ridin' on ya piggy back, did ya?" he asked with a smile.

"Well it worked out when you were younger." was Florence's reply.

Fern shook his head and mutely entered the run-down-looking pub. There were people, both Wizard and Muggle, lounging around lazily. They all looked at Fern and his mother. The two hippies' bright clothing contrasted deeply to everyone else's but the two didn't seem to be fazed by that.

"Let's see here, like, I'm sher the wall was 'round here or somethin' like that." he said, aimlessly tapping the walls around a trash can with his wand, eventually he hit the right spot because the wall wriggled at the touch of the wand hitting it three times and a hole materialized, "Bingo!"

Florence and Fern walked through the hole and stepped into the bustling Diagon Alley, shops lined the avenues and random babbling from witches and wizards filled the streets.

Even though they were peaceful woodland deities, Fern and Florence had plenty of experience with large crowds and cities. Outside of their forest was a rather popular Wizarding town in Magical San Fransisco; it was called Abbey Lane. Most of Its inhabitants were hippies but they were very modern and the town was chock full of eco-friendly malls and shops.

The people there were nice but they had a reverence towards the Faefolk that Fern didn't like, some still worshiped the Greek gods and they insisted on giving offerings to them.

The wizards at the town, even though they were usually fun-loving people, had a nasty side if provoked and almost declared war on the Death Eaters but knowing that would be a move where they would all get killed, Florence used her influence and authority to command them to cease their speak and plans of war. That's why Fern had to act now because he knew his mother couldn't hold off their bitter feelings for long.

"Fern, babe!" Florence snapped her fingers in Fern's face, making the teen come back into focus.

"Huh?" Fern looked around and found that his legs had dragged himself all the way the train station, apparently he was supposed to be looking for a platform 9¾, leave it to a wizard to give such funny directions.

The two wood creatures stared at each other dumbly, "Uhhhh."

"Yeaaaahhh..."

"Maybe it's like the door in the Leaky Cauldron." Fern said and tapped  
>the brick a couple of times.<p>

Nothing.

Hmmm, oh well, I give up." he said lazily and leaned against the wall, wondering if he got the wrong directions. Florence leaned near Fern and rummaged through a large woven tote bag, her entire shoulder went in as she rummaged through the magic bag, "Aha, there's we go." she said. Florence pulling out a rainbow, psychedelic-looking glass pipe with swirl carvings on it.

"I was savin' this fer yer Coming of Age Ceremony but I think yer grown enough fer this stuff." she explained, "Jus' don' let Zeus catch wind o' this."

Fern's eyebrow quirked, "But, Maw, this is yer first and favoritest pipe, y' told me yerself."

Florence shrugged, "Yeah, well, how'd ya think I got it, yer granddaddy gave this to me and his daddy and his daddy, I think this ol' pipe goes back to at least twelve generations,  
>hopefully it'll get passed down for many more." she looked at Fern meaningfully while saying this.<p>

The teen now held the old pipe in his hands, it was still as vibrant as ever and there were no scratches, "Wow, talk about pressure." he said with a nervous smirk.

His mother reached into her bag again and took out two pinches of crushed catnip leaves, "Here, take this, since this is yer first time, I'm giving ya the easy stuff first." she put the leaves inside the chamber and lit it using wordless magic and handed it to Fern, "Take it slow at first." she added.

Fern grinned, he and hit friends had always taken secret hits of things, too impatient to wait till they came of age, but now his mother had allowed him before his Coming of Age Ceremony. Also, taking quick hits was nothing compared to smoking in a real pipe, especially such an important family heirloom. This was going to be so groovy to write to his friends!

Doing as his mother said, Fern took the pipe gingerly and breathed into, it took a couple breathes for Fern to feel anything, "Ahhhhh..." he let out a happy sigh and a big smile crept onto his face.

"Hey, no hoggin' it." Florence grabbed the pipe back and took a couple of puffs; she giggled a lot and rested her head on Fern's shoulder.

"Just look at that, kids, I want you to remember never get involved in those things, nothing good will ever come out of it." a woman said in a quiet murmur. She and her two children, one girl and one boy, had red hair and bright freckles sprinkling their faces.

Being wood nymphs, Fern and his mother had acute hearing and Florence and Fern smirked, humans were so silly.

The boy looked a little uncomfortable and muttered to his mom, "Mum, keep it down, they might hear us."

The woman shook her head, "Nonsense, those poor young people are off in their little world of theirs, I'll bet you my wand that when they come to, they'll have no idea where they are."

Fern's pointy ears twitched little when she said 'wand', meaning they must be wizards, meaning they'll know how to get to Station 9¾.

She continued, "Ron, Ginny, if I catch wind of you getting caught up in riffraff like that I'll-"

Fern got up a little shakily and smoothly made his way to the red-haired woman.

"Can I help you?" the woman asked as politely as possible, Fern had to give her credit for that.

"Ah, hello, so like, I'm sorry to be a bother but ya'll wouldn't know how to get to Platform 9¾, would ya?" he asked in his warmest tone.

The woman smiled a little, "Oh, you're enrolling into Hogwarts, come 'ead then. These are my children, Ginny and Ron. They go to Hogwarts as well. My name is Molly Weasley by the way." she said, her awkwardness with Fern had diminished a little. She looked over Fern's shoulder to see Florence who was trailing behind Fern, "Oh is that your sister?" she asked.

Florence's eyebrows shot up and Fern laughed immediately, "S-sister?" he managed to choke out.

Ron frowned, "Now look what you did, Mum, you made his girlfriend upset."

The two faeries guffawed. "This...this is m'...m'...m' Maw." Fern wheezed whilst clutching his ribs and leaning against Florence for support. Florence was vibrating in chuckles.

Ron's jaw dropped and looked at Florence and back at Fern, "Y-you look so young-"

Fern widened his eyes so they were large as saucers, something he hated doing because they were sensitive to sunlight. His non-human eyes became much more noticeable and Mrs. Weasley looked alarmed, "Oh...you're nymphs, how nice." she said curtly.

Florence looked at her shiftily but didn't say anything; she understood that humans had more than enough reasons to be cautious about nymphs. They were prone to cause trouble amongst humans with their beauty and fickleness.

There was one incident that happened over a hundred years ago in which a male nymph seduced pure blood wizard, the man was so infatuated with the the nymph, he left his wife, children, and riches to elope with him. Later the nymph grew bored with the man and left him on a whim.

The man accused the nymph for bewitching him and since most people would listen to a wizarding lord than a country nymph, the nymph was tried and convicted for using a spell equivalent to the _Imperius_ and engaging in sodomy so he was executed. The rich wizard was allowed to get back his family and estate. This caused a great disdain between nymphs and wizards alike.

Mrs. Weasley told Fern to just walk through the barrier platform nine and ten and not do be scared of crashing into the wall. Fern looked at him mom, "Ya wanna do this with me?" he asked and held out his hand, Florence took it.

"Why can't you be sweet like that, Ron?" Mrs. Weasley asked scoldingly.

Ron rolled his eyes, "Oh brother."

The wood nymphs backed up and made a running start towards the barrier, whooping and shouting gleefully. The Weasley's couldn't decide whether these actions were from what they just smoked or if that was their natural behavior.

Fern had his eyes closed throughout the run and when he opened his eyes, he discovered he was in a whole new part of the train station, "Groovy." he and Florence uttered.

Florence gave a little smile, "Best if I say g'bye now before I lose m' nerve." she hugged Fern and pecked him on the lips, "Bambi, y' be good, and don't ferget 'leaves o' three let it be' and shit like that, 'kay?" she asked as tears prickled her eyes.

Fern kissed her eyelids and breathed in the familiar sent of his mother, "I'll remember, I'd be a retard if I didn't learn after havin' an itchy tongue fer three days."

"Ah yer Daddy's so proud of you. Remember_ that night_," she couldn't bear to say 'The night of your father's death' so they just referred to it as 'that night'. "Remember that night when...when yer Daddy said he'd come back in some way, shape, or form? The patron guardians think that he's going to come back in the form of a celestial body."

'Celestial body' was a Faefolk term for constellation. It was only awarded to prominent heroes and villains in Fae society. No matter how highly he thought of his father, Fern didn't think that he'd come back in the form of a celestial body.

"I know, Maw. I know, I'll write to ya later tonight." they shared one last lingering stare before Florence stepped back. She shrank down to only one inch and beat her butterfly wings rapidly, making fairy dust spread everywhere. Florence shot up into the sky and flew through the air like a tiny, sparkly comet until she was out of view.

Fern boarded the train and idly looked for an empty compartment; he had to squeeze through crowds of rowdy children just to move from place to place. He wasn't used to such chaos, sure he had large parties at the village but then again, the people at the village weren't strangers. He had already gotten some odd stares from people and he was beginning to feel just a little self-conscious.

Finally, Fern had found a vacant spot, he sat down and plopped his load of bags onto the seat next to him, "Ahhhh...I'm so fuckin' hungry I could eat this train." he moaned. A massive case of the munchies had overtook him after smoking the catnip.

"I'd rather you not." a voice said.

Fern's ears stood up in surprise and he looked up to see a boy with granny glasses, black messy hair, and emerald green eyes, "How long 'ave you've been there?" he asked slowly.

"I was here first actually." the boy replied.

"Oh, well that's cool. Ya don't mind if I meditate, do you?"

"No, not at a-"

"Groovy." Fern removed his sunglasses, folded his legs Indian style, and closed his eyes, "Ohmmm...Eláte pnév̱ma ti̱s eirí̱ni̱s. Ohmmm...Moúses, xekleidó̱sete to myal kai ti̱n kardiá mou..." he muttered from deep in his chest, indistinct slurring poured from his mouth. When meditating it's good to just let yourself go and do whatever your body wants you to do.

"Um, excuse me." the boy said.

Fern lifted one eyelid and looked at him, squinting his eyes a little, "Mhm, whadda y' want" he said, still slurring a bit.

The boy smiled a bit, "Well, since we're going to be in each other's company for a while, I thought we might as well get acquainted." he said, he stuck out his hand, "I'm Harry Potter."

Fern tried to accept the hand but he lost balance and fell over, he didn't flail or anything, he just let himself fall. Harry took his hand and helped him up, "Hm, thanks, I'm Fern Faunabelle." he said.

As the hippie teen looked at this Harry Potter in the eyes, something told him he had heard his name somewhere before...but where...?

**DONE! OMG, that was back-breaking in the start, but then after I read**** the Sorcerer's Stone again all the ideas shot out like a rocket from my**** mind! Ah, I think I'll be updating pretty soon after this chapter. Peace**** n' Love guys.  
><strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four. I still don't know what house to put Fern in, that's the reason I'm stalling the Sorting Ceremony chapter! I'm leaning towards either Hufflepuff or Slytherin, please vote! I do not own Harry Potter; I'm just a penniless eight grader :'(**

_Who is this guy again? _Fern wondered and then his eyes fell upon Harry's scarred forehead. _Oh, THAT Harry Potter! The guy Voldemort has to kill! I dunno, if the only reason blocking ol' snake face from world domination is this scrawny kid, he must be pretty pathetic... _

"Your eyes are very interesting, are you wearing some kind of magical eye contacts?" Harry asked, breaking Fern's concentration.

The hippie teen snorted, "Ain't you never seen nymph eyes before? Well, I'm a half-nymph really." He bit his lip, waiting for either Harry grovel at his feet or flirt with him obnoxiously; most wizards considered nymphs as easy.

Harry surprised him by only giving him a fairly interested look and said, "Oh, that's cool."

Fern sighed in relief, "Yeah. So, like, what's new with you?"

Harry laughed almost bitterly, "Let's just say I've been better." Last year was awful, he still mourned Sirius' death. He was the closest Harry had at having a real family and the teen's promises of happiness had died along with his godfather.

And it was his entire damn fault. If only he hadn't been so irresponsible and hadn't charged into things without thinking. It might as well have been himself who pushed Sirius into the Veil. The abuse from the Dursely's hadn't helped things either; they kept picking on him now, never giving him a moment's peace. He'd rather be neglected than tormented by them.

Fern held his guitar in his hands and strummed a few chords, "Aw, don' get yerself down over bad times. It could always be worse, man."

Harry brightened a bit at Fern's words but he still had a wry smile, "Yeah well, looking back on the year I just had, I don't think it can get any worse."

Fern laughed warmly, "That's a good thing, if it can't get no worse then it can only get better."

The green-eyed teen couldn't help but grin, "That's a barmy way at looking at things."

The strawberry blonde shrugged, "But jus' try it."

"Try what?" A female voice inquired.

Fern looked up to see a girl with bushy brown hair followed by the tall redheaded boy he saw at the train station, Ron, if he remembered correctly. Fern stared at him until the other boy's ears turned red and he averted his eyes.

"Hey, Freckle Face, thank yer mum fer me when ya see her. Although I have to say, I didn't really like the way she looked at me and Maw." he said.

Ron's face almost turned as red as his hair, "Er, yeah, sorry about that. She's really old fashioned, that's all."

The hippie teen's eyes then lingered upon the brunette girl, "Hey, babe, what's shakin'?" he asked with a smile, his smile widened at the angry look on the girl's face.

"My name is Hermione Granger, not 'Babe', thank you very much." she snapped. _Whoa, you mad, bra? _Fern thought with amusement.

"So, Fern," Harry said, trying to calm Hermione, "Which school did you used to go to?"

"Oh, this is going to be m' first time bein' in a wizarding school. Y' see, I went to a local school for nymphs called Logios Academy until last year. M' mom wanted me to learn Fae magic before anything else." Fern explained.

Ron looked at Fern astonished, "You're _really_ behind then, how'll you survive Hogwarts...how'll you survive Snape?" he asked with a shudder just thinking about the foreboding Potions master.

Fern smiled, "'Ey, jus' because I never went to an official wizarding school doesn't mean I don' no m' stuff. M' Dad went here when he had a kid n' he taught me wizard magic since I was eleven. I think I might even be a little more advanced than ya'll actually"

Hermione did not like the soun of someone being more advanced than her, "If you're so ahead of us, then what's the point of coming to Hogwarts?" she asked.

Fern snorted, "Believe me, hun, I hate the idea of goin' to a hoity-toity, mightier-than-thou Wizarding school, especially one where the Headmaster separate children into cliques and promote social fascism...I have m' reasons though." he said with a sniff.

"Maybe you aren't as advanced as you say you are." was the witch's response.

The strawberry blond smirked, "Fine, toots, check this out!" The nymph-halfa took out his wand and said, "_Symphonia_: Moonlight Sonata by Ludwig von Beethoven!" Immediately, the said musical piece came out from his wand. "_Intermitto._" The music stopped.

Ron and Harry looked impressed, "Wow, old Flitwick never taught us that before." Harry said, "Who invented that?" he asked.

"Phineas Faunabelle...Oh my God, you're his son!" Hermione said with an astonished looked and stared at Fern, "He's a famous inventor who mixes wizard magic with Muggle technology. I read all about him in his book called _'Machines: The Magic of Muggles'_. I didn't know he had a son!"she exclaimed.

"Who?" Harry wondered, sometimes it really pissed him off that there was a lot of things about the Wizarding world he didn't know.

Ron gasped at Harry as if he had said something blasphemous, "He's only one of the greatest wrock heroes ever! I remember him from that cool band The Billywigs and then he had an even better solo career. I didn't even know he was married." he looked at Fern with the utmost respect.

Fern shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "Well, it was his priority to make his private life n' work never mix. Daddy didn't want to raise a family in the limelight, which is one of the reasons why he n' Maw moved to California."

"Blimey, d'you think you can get me his autograph?" Ron asked excitedly.

The strawberry blonde frowned. _Oh right,_ he thought,_ the public doesn't know about his death ye__t._ "Well, that's gonna be a little hard because he...he died recently." he said in a hushed voice.

Hermione's and Harry's eyebrows shot up while Ron's freckled face had gone white and he stared numbly at Fern. He got up and leaned into Fern's face so their noses were only two inches apart, "Wha...what the hell? You're not serious!" Ron's big, blue eyes were looking desperately at Fern, begging the blonde to tell him that this was all a joke.

"I'm serious...he died about four weeks ago." he said. Harry looked at Fern with pained and empathic eyes but didn't say anything.

That caused Ron to recoil into his seat and two tears stream down on the boy's face but the redhead had wiped them so quickly you couldn't tell they were ever there.

Fern was humbled and a little angry that a fan of his father was brought to such emotions. Ron didn't have the right to cry over his father and yet Fern was very grateful that he was, it just showed him how much his father had touched people's lives.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Ron said, slightly red in the face for tearing up.

Fern averted his eyes and shrugged aloofly, "Thanks, Ron. He hasn't been properly buried yet, his body is currently in a glass coffin charmed with Preservation Charms, we've been waiting fer the right...environment." The forest wasn't in very good shape and the nymphs were waiting for it to be one hundred percent again to bury the beloved late singer.

"M' Maw n' me have been thinking about tellin' the world, but it'll be complicated since Daddy had hidden us from the public eye for years..." Fern added.

"If you're going to tell the public, let me give you a word of advice," Harry said, "Steer clear of a woman named Rita Skeeter, she'll twist up anything you say just to make you look bad."

Fern mocked an angry face, "See hear now, I can do that on me own, son!" he sniggered. His warm giggles had brought them all out of a morbid feeling.

"Oh, n' by the way, I'm rather familiar with Rita Skeeter's libel. She interviewed m' Dad when he was beginning his solo career and had jus' released his new single 'We All Die in the End'. That Skeeter bitch had made my father look bad by saying to lyrics showed allegiance to the Dark Lord." he said with a frown.

"But he wasn't, was he?" Harry asked.

"Cor, no!" Fern exclaimed and then said, "Well, I'm not gonna deny that the song didn't have to do with Voldemort -" Ron flinched. "But it wasn't praising him, y' know. It was a song of despair that Voldemort was terrorizing the world. Ya see, m' dad could get very pessimistic sometimes and he'd show it in a warped way. I could sing it for ya'll, I know all his songs by heart."

He picked up his guitar and played a peaceful and melancholy tune. (A/N: The poem can be sung to the tune of the first part of Siberian Breaks by MGMT)

_"Hiding is useless and running only brings more..pain._

_The Dark Mark upon the doorstep can only mean that...we all die in the end._

_Can fight his power._

_He feeds off joy just like a dementor._

_The victims that scream in horror can only be drowned...by his maniacal glee._

_The body count's still rising while Mom keeps bumbling on.  
><em>

_If you're not being hunted, you're Voldie's mindless pawn.  
><em>

_Make peace with God while you still can!_

_ My friend, we all die in the end-"_

The song wasn't over but Fern had stopped playing because

"What a lovely little ditty, I couldn't agree more with it. That was one of your father's very few good songs, wasn't it?" An unfortunately familiar voice drawled. There before them was the one and only Amazing Bouncing Ferret: Draco Malfoy.

Fern inwardly bristled at the comment, "G'day, Malfoy." he said in a tight voice. Malfoy sat in the seat next to Fern and gave him a nod of acknowledgment.

Ron looked between the two boys, "Fern, you know this poncey git?"

Fern shook his head, "No. I mean, like, I know him but I don't _know-know_ him, ya know."

Draco waved his hand dismissively, "Pish, Faunabelle and I are rather close acquaintances." The Golden Trio did not look convinced and Fern eyed the Draco sketchily. The platinum blond then added, "Faunabelle, I've been meaning to ask you what blood your father had."

"What blood?" he repeated, "That's a weird question, I think he was Type O-"

Hermione laughed, "He doesn't mean _that_ blood type, he's talking about your Wizard lineage."

Draco sneered, "Thank you, Granger, but I didn't hear anyone asking you to butt your smart-arse into our conversation."

"N' what a fine smart arse it is." Fern commented, earning a dangerous glare from the young witch.

He looked at the ceiling as if it had all the answers, "Uh...let's see, I think Daddy was a Half-blood. But then again, Meemaw's a Squib while Pops is a Muggle so I'm not sher if m' Dad would really count as a Half-blood..."

Draco looked terribly abashed, "A Muggle and a _Squib_ for parents? Your father is practically a Mudblood." he said flatly.

It dawned on him that Fern was a Half-breed, a Half-breed with dirty blood at that. "Merlin, I hope you don't get sorted into Slytherin, it would tarnish our good name. You might get stuck in Gryffindor, they're very welcoming to Mudbloods." he said sneering at Hermione.

Hermoine, who was usually never too insulted by the term, had turned her head away quickly but one could still catch the tear that had shined in the corner of her eye.

"You've just gone too far, Malfoy!" Harry roared and grabbed the blonde's navy blue, tailor-made button-up shirt by the front, "I would have hoped to think that you'd get mature over the summer and learn to be considerate of others instead of being such a._ Bloody._ _Fucking. Prick!_" he jabbed Draco's chest with her wand to emphasize his words.

Draco backed deeper into the cushion of the chair, genuinely fearing for his life even though his impassive face showed none of it. Fern raised an eyebrow at what a punk this guy was. Sure he was totally hot and Fern was planning on flirting with him but Draco was all shit. The demigod decided to intervene because even though he deserved it, it'd be a pity if Draco's sexy face got hexed inside-out.

He got in between Harry's wand and Draco, "Dudes, calm down! Harry, put the wand down, s'not a real good idea to start a duel in such a confined place." he said in a calming, friendly voice. Harry was hesitant but after an encouraging nod he reluctantly put his wand back in his pocket.

Ron was furious, "Why would you help out such a creep like Malfoy, I would think you'd like to see his balls get cursed off after what he just said!"

Draco smirked at the redhead, "Cool it, Weasley, or you'll have Faunabelle to deal with."

Fern spun around to glare at Draco. Just because he was a little shorter than the Pure-blood didn't mean his presence wasn't intimidating. If looks could kill, Draco would have been on the ground mutilated beyond recognition.

He put one hand on his hip and used his other hand to snap in the platinum-haired boy's face, "_Ex-ca-use me?_ Biatch, the only reason yer not bein' beaten into a bleedin' pulp is because I'm not gon' waste m' energy on shite like you. Plus, it'd be a damn shame if yer sexy face got hexed inside out. I'm warning y', _sug_, talk smack about m' Daddy again n' so help me Zeus, yer gonna be havin' to pick up yer pretty, straight, white teeth of the ground!" he said in a calm voice that had elevated to screaming in Draco's face by the end, "Now 'pologize!" he barked.

"How dare you! My father will-"

"I sher do hope y' like puddin', hun." Fern smiled sweetly but the wisps in his eyes were like the sea during a storm. He cracked his knuckled threateningly.

"I, er...apologize." Draco said grudgingly.

Fern grinned and plopped him down into the seat, "There y' go; now we're all friends, right?"

Harry made a face, "N-"

"_Right_?" Fern asked more forcefully.

"...Whatever."

The hippie then cuddled up next to Draco, much to the other boy's terror, and soon fell asleep for the rest of the train ride. In his slumber, Fern had a painful flashback.

* * *

><p><em>"Daddy! Jus' hold on, Momma's got the blood right here! Don't die on me, ya hear?" Fern screamed as he held Phineas' pale hand in his, kissing it repeatedly. They had tried everything to help him since eleven o' clock and now it was around six <em>_in the morning. They used healing incantations, potions, magical herbs, they even tied giving ambrosia to Phineas, but his body had rejected it all._

_Florence__ rushed into the room holding a vial of silvery liquid; willingly given unicorn's blood. There was a fire spreading through the other side of the forest but none of them gave a damn about that for the time being._

_She was visibly shaken; she and her son were almost raped late last night and now her soulmate was on his death bed, "Drink this, sug. Cymbeline let me take this from her willingly so it's okay."_

_The older strawberry blond frowned a little, "Luv, your s'posed to be helping put of the fire. Leave me here n' do your job, I'll be fine." he said. His paper white skin, sunken cheeks, and black- rimmed eyes told a different story._

_Florence shook her head, "My place here is with you fer now, I've just contacted the clan of water nymphs. They told me to stay with you n' they'll take care of everything."_

_Fern tipped the vial into Phineas' mouth gently and made sure he swallowed every drop. The effect had the exact opposite of what they wanted, though. Phineas' face contorted into even more pain and he pulled away from Fern to vomit blood over the side of the bed. Fern screamed and a new wave of fresh sobs came over him. _

_"Well...I guess there ain't nothing we can do now..." Phineas said with a numb expression on his face, he was trying his hardest to except the fact he was dying._

_Florence wailed, "I'm sorry, Phineas, I - I jus' don' know how to save you! Oh, Fates, don' take him from me now, eighteen years with him isn't nearly enough! Don't take him from me..."_

_Since Florence was an immortal, she knew since the day she and Phineas got married that he would eventually die and leave her, although that would probably take hundreds off years. This was too early, too cruel for her to take; she felt that the Fates had cheated her of the happy life she had finally found after searching for fifty-three years.  
><em>

_Phineas weakly took his wife's chin and brought her into a kiss. It tasted strongly of blood but Florence allowed it, fearing it'd be the last one they would ever share. "Don't...worry 'bout me, Florence. Hades likes me, I'm sure...he won't give me too much work to get into Heaven." _

_Fern chuckled weakly, "Oh no, it's straight up to Heaven fer you. Yer a real saint, Daddy." he pecked his father on the lips and rested his head on the man's chest. _

_Phineas managed to snort, "A saint he calls me, whaddaya say to that?" smirked lewdly at Florence. The forest guardian laughed as some tears escaped her eyes, momentarily forgetting the situation they were in._

_He looked up at her and said sincerely, "Florence, you were, is, and always will be the first best thing that ever happened to me." he turned to Fern and said, "N', you're the third best thing that ever happened to me. The second best is how me n' your Momma made you happen." _

_Fern couldn't help but chortle and sob at the same time. Leave it to Phineas to show his perverse sense of humor even to the end, "Daddy, don' go away. You never got to see me grow up to be famous, or see me get married to Goldie, Xerxes, n' Zora, or see yer grandbabies, or- or..."_

_Phineas let tears of his own fall down, "I'll see you do all o' that n' then some, Bambi. When I'm dead and go to live in the beyond, I'll be looking down at you everyday to see how my baby's growing up to be a fine young man. Even if Heaven's a giant a disappointment and I don't get to see you, I know that I'll always be proud of you, my beautiful, beautiful boy." _

_He planted a kiss on Fern's lips, "Fern, open the window and bring your guitar." his eyes barely had the twinkle of life left. He quietly sang 'Here Comes the Sun' hoarsely while Fern played the guitar and hummed along with him.  
><em>

_"It's alright...It's alright, luvs..." Phineas whispered, his breathing was labored and the light in his hazel eyes were dimming. Fern could tell that these were his final moments. He gripped his father's hand harder and resumed kissing it again while Florence cupped her husband's cheek and kissed his lips and rested her forehead on his, "Phineas, don't go, I'm not ready fer you to go. It's too soon...too soon."_

_Phineas smiled weakly, "If you love someone let 'em go, if they love you too they'll come back. I'll find a way to come back...in some way, shape, or form, I'll come back." he squeezed Fern's hand lightly, "I'll come back." _

_His hand then went completely limp._

* * *

><p>"Faunabelle, wake up!" a voice yelled in an exasperated tone, someone was nudging him. Fern reluctantly opened his eyes, took of his sunglasses, and rubbed them. He discovered to his horror that his cheeks were wet. He looked up and found that he was still leaning against Draco's arm. The Gryffindors had left, leaving the two alone. Draco's shirt sleeve was wet with Fern's tears and the owner of the shirt had a pinkish tint to his pale cheeks. His eyes also bore a glint of...guilt?<p>

Fern got up and stretched, "Mm, where am I?" he asked dozily. Draco made an audible sigh of relief and got up to move his weary arm in circular motion, "The train's reached it's destination, now we have to ride the school carriages to get to Hogwarts." he then added with a groan, "You were leaning on my arm the entire trip and now my arm's fallen asleep."

The strawberry blond scratched the back of his head and laughed sheepishly, "Oh, my bad. Here, lemme help you." Before the Pure-blood could even protest, Fern had grabbed his arms and started rubbing until it was brought back to life.

"Ah, thank you." Draco said slowly and then added; "Um, I know you don't know many people from Hogwarts so I was wondering if you wanted to ride with me and my friends." the pinkish hue had come back to his face.

Fern looked down at the floor, "Uh...naw, I don' think they'd like me very much." He suddenly felt self-conscious again.

"Don't worry about that!" Draco said quickly. Fern looked at him in a peculiar way and he cleared his throat, "What I mean is, they wouldn't dare give you trouble is you're with me. Please, think of it as a thank you for sticking up for me earlier." he said more eloquently.

"Oh, it's that the case then a'ight." Fern said cheerily although on the inside he felt apprehensive. As the two boys made their way towards the school carriages Fern asked, "Um...Malfoy, did I say weird things? When I was asleep, I mean."

The platinum blond stiffened a little, "No."

"Don' lie to me, yer karma is radiating with uneasiness."

"Well, you did mutter some things. You kept whimpering 'Daddy, Daddy' over and over."

Fern looked at Draco with eyes that swirled with hundreds of emotions and the aristocrat was almost afraid he would do something unpleasantly unpredictable. Whatever the hippie wanted to do was stopped when he caught sight of creatures he had never seen before.

The demigod approached a skeletal horse-like creature with bat wings and a reptilian face, _"Hello, you're very beautiful. What are you?" _ he whinnied and snorted. Fern hoped this animal spoke something close to Unicorn and that his accent was well place. If what he just said was too highly pitched, it would mean " 'I hopped over the mountain,' flipped the pumpkin."

_"Humans call my kind Thestrals. My name is Umbra," _Umbra sniffed Fern and then grunted_, "You do not smell completely like a human."_

Fern shook his head, _"M' daddy was a human, m' mom is a nymph, but that's not the point. You look very sad."_

_"I'm sad because my mate gave birth to a colt yesterday but he didn't survive, this is the second time this has happened." _Umbra jerked his head in a shaking motion and whinnied loudly.

The strawberry blonde felt very sorry for the creature and suddenly hugged the horse-like animal's broad neck, _"I know how ya feel, believe me, I do."_

Umbra was taken aback by the hug, as no person has ever given him one before. He slowly warmed up to it though, Fern gave off a warm and trusting aura, _"I would think so, since you can see me."_

_"What do you mean?__"_

The thestral dragged his hoof against the ground a couple times before answering,_ "Only people who have witness death can see my kind. That is why many humans fear us."_

Fern frowned, _"I don't think that's a bad thing - I mean it's sad people die n' stuff but when that results in meeting new beings that can sympathize with you, it's not all bad."_

Draco grabbed the hippie teen's shoulder, "Uh, who're you talking to?" he began getting worried of Fern when he suddenly hugged thin air.

"Umbra the thestral of course, we nymphs are very keen on speaking the languages of other creatures n' thankfully, Thestral language is very similar to Unicorn language." Fern looked at Draco as if he were doing was the most obvious thing in the world.

The aristocratic teen had a glint of guilt in his eye again, "Oh." he mouthed.

"Um...Can you see them?" Fern asked, a little afraid of the answer he was going to get.

"...No." Draco turned so he couldn't look him in the eye.

"DRACO, HURRY UP, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES!" A female's voice screeched. A girl with short, jet black hair was running towards Draco and glomped the poor boy into the ground.

"Argh! Pansy, get off of me!" Draco growled and practically shoved her off.

Pansy made a pouting face until she laid eyes on Fern, she wrinkled her nose at him disapprovingly, "Oh, it's that nymph halfa Father talked about." said Pansy while taking in Fern's appearance and scowling.

The three of them entered the carriage to find Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, and Blaise Zabini. "About bloody time Draco and - Who's that?" he asked while looking at Fern disdainfully.

"This, is Fern Faunabelle, he's an acquaintance of mine." Draco said coolly.

Zabini raised an eyebrow, "'Faunabelle', as in Phineas Faunabelle?" he inquired.

"Yeah," Fern said, "Not a fan by any chance are ya?" he asked.

Zabini snorted, "As if. That idiot didn't know his place and he was indecisive. One minute he's singing about surrendering to the Dark Lord and the next, he's working with the ministry to put an end to him."

Fern's magical eye locked on Blaise, "You just don't understand the way he worked, he was always against the Voldemort!" he snapped.

Draco winced, "Faunabelle, hold your tongue when it comes to the _Dark Lord_." he corrected hastily.

Pansy sneered, "He was always on the Ministy's side, huh? Tell, me, _Half-blood_ who's side are you on?"

Fern was silent for a few second before finally responding, "Nymphs have no interest in what humans do, and being raised mainly by nymphs, neither do I. My partnership with the Dark Lord is a matter of my interests and mine alone, the other patron guardians don't care." his tone was sharp and his accent had turned flat and cold.

"You say he's your 'acquaintance', Draco?" Crabbe said with a vicious smirk, "Mind if I borrow him sometime? I could certainly put him in the place a nymph belongs." he said.

Goyle shook his head and grinned wolfishly, "Tut-tut, Draco. Whadaya think of this, Pansy?"

Said girl had a face red with anger, "Draco! How could you cheat on me for a guy and a STINKY HIPPIE, no less!" she fumed!

Fern smiled friendlily, "Girlfriend, I'm going to ignore yer rudeness n' I'll jus' love n' tolerate the crap outta you. But while I'm lovin' n' tolerating ya, I jus' gotta say that ya need a new nose, 'cause that one obviously can't smell n' it looks stepped on too." he said in a bright tone.

Draco settled for a well concealed snicker before getting serious again, "Pansy, I'd never cheat on you. I couldn't on you even if I tried mainly because _we are not in a realationship_." he emphasized the last part clearly. Pansy was about to say something but a glare from Draco made her think otherwise.

"Also," he continued, "I want you to treat Faunabelle with decently, he's in alliance with the Dark Lord. We'll be seeing a lot of him lately so I trust you to get along with him."

A few mumbled 'Sure's and 'whatever's came from the surly teens and the rest of the carriage ride was silent but not too uncomfortable because Malfoy had a sort of protective look upon his face. Pansy, though, was glaring nastily at Fern through the entire trip.

"Ooh, is that the school? It's so friggin' huge!" Fern exclaimed as he looked out the window. The gigantic castle was marvelous and Fern could see a big green field with a bunch of weird hoops on tall sticks towering.

Seeing even farther, Fern could spot a lake with a giant squid happily wriggling its tentacles and a beautiful looking forest. _That must be the forest Maw and Daddy first met_, he thought with an weird sense of nostalgia. So this was Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Fern had to admit that he was impressed.

The strawberry blonde stuck his head and then his whole body out of the window, happily perching himself on the roof of the carriage, " 'Ello, Britian! Hide yer kids, hide yer wives, hide yer husbands, Fern fuckin' Faunabelle's gon' be tappin' all of yer arses!" he hollered.

The students turned to see who was making the commotion, a few girls and even some boys blushed and laughed as they continued their way into the school doors. Fern spotted Hermione walking with Harry and Ron. He yelled out and waved, "Hey, sug! I hope we take classes together!"

Hermione looked appalled at Fern's antics but had given him a small wave before disappearing into the bowels of the school. Harry and Ron, on the other hand were sniggering at Fern until they both stopped abruptly, both of them looked pale in the face.

"Faunabelle, come down from there this minute." a velvety voice said sternly.

Fern laid on the carriage upside down, making his tangled mane of hair fall down. He looked at the upside down man before his: tall, black greasy looking hair, black sinister robes, pale skin, black eyes, a large hooked nose, and a permanent scowl. Fern remembered this guy from the Death Eater meeting. Silvester Sniper or something like that.

The strawberry blonde back flipped off the carriage and grinned at the man donned in black, "Haiiiii thar, yer Professor Sniper, yeah?"

The man was not amused, "Professor Snape," he corrected, "It would have done me the utmost pleasure to take away house points from you but since you haven't been sorted yet I'll have to settle for giving you a detention." he said frostily.

Fern gaped at him, "But, like, I didn't even do anything. You can't give me a detention without a reason!" he protested.

"No, I couldn't, which is why I'm giving you a detention for misuse of school property and inappropriate language." Snape said.

Draco's friends snickered while heading for school, "Detention from Snape on your first day, this'll be a wonderful year for you, Faunabelle!" Pansy sneered.

Fern gave an over-enthusiastic smile and gave a thumbs-up, "I know right, fan-fuckin'-tastic!" his smile turned sheepish when Snape scowled at him.

"Watch your language, Mr. Faunabelle." he reprimanded, "Come with me, the Headmaster wants to see you." he sneered.

Fern followed Snape cautiously. This guy was a Death Eater and Voldemort's right hand man. He was most definitely not a happy man, he practically reeked of bad karma and it made Fern's ears flatten back against his head in fear. For all Fern knew, this could have been the same person who killed his father, the very notion of that caused Fern's heart to freeze momentarily...

**CLIFF HANGER! (Yeah?) I was hoping to add some more stuff for this chappie but I'll save it for the next one. Please excuse the grammatical and spelling mistakes if there are any, the user I'm typing on currently doesn't have spelling or grammar check to I had to fix it the best I could on my own. **

**Oh, and I hope you noticed the slight Draco/Fern I'm beginning to think if I should make this a threesome pairing amongst Snape/ Fern/ Draco but I'll think about that later.**

**Please review guys and please vote which house Fern should be in :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chappie five, aaaawlroight! I don't own Harry Potter, wish I did though. I moved this to rated M because I realized that I'm using waaaay too much fowl language and I don't want this story taken down :P**

_This guy could be Daddy's murderer,_ Fern thought with a numbing shock. The thought was highly possible and probable, but it felt so alien to Fern. If the Fates had planned for Fern to stay in the company of his father's killer, they were wicked and sadistic crones indeed.

"Um, what does Professor Dumbledore want with me, anyways?" Fern asked, his voice shook a little.

"You are going to be interviewed for the _Daily Prophet_ newspaper." Snape said and then added snidely, "You do know what a newspaper is, don't you?"

Fern shook his head and said in a serious tone, "Oh, no, sir, we paint pretty pictures on cave walls where I come from." He couldn't help but make a crack. Murderer or not, the Professor was entertaining. He left Fern with a lot of room to make smart comebacks.

Nobody had told him about an interview, his brain was kicked into overdrive, trying to think of what he'd say and what the interviewer might ask him. He could always declined of course, but wouldn't that sound suspicious? No, it was best to face problems like this quickly to be done with them.

Snape suppressed a smirk. That was totally something Phineas would say.

Under closer inspection, the Potions Master couldn't believe how much Fern was like Phineas. From his tangled strawberry blonde mane; to his defiant narrow eyes (although Fern's were even more infuriating because they were his mother's color); to his sharp canines; and thin, constantly smiling lips. Even his chesty, cackling laughter reminded Snape of Phineas. _  
><em>

"Sooooo, uh, ya gonna reconsider about the detention?" Fern asked in a way he hoped was sly enough.

"No."

"Aw, c'mon, Snoop-"

"Snape."

"Whatever - Look, you know as well as I know that ya don' wanna do this. Instead of givin' me detention, you could be doin' what you want. Like sippin' tea, or writing dark poetry, cuttin' yerself...or listen to Unicorn Blood." he muttered.

The older man snapped his head to give the teen a withering stare,"_What_?" Unicorn Blood was the Wizarding World's number one faggiest, emo-est, most whiniest band ever; the female population was crazy about them though.

Fern shrunk despite himself but still giggled impishly, "Nothing, sir."

As they continued on, a wolf-whistle echoed through the halls, "That's some fine girl you got there, Professor!" a menacing voice snickered.

Snape was furious while Fern had an amused smile, "PEEVES!" Snape bellowed

"But you should really get her to shave that dead mouse off her chin." the voice continued.

Fern's smile was wiped right off his face and was replaced with a seething sneer, "Ohhhhh ho ho, you'll regret that." he took his wand out and roved his eyes across the ceiling and the hallway, he had dealt with poltergeists before.

The Slytherin Head of House grabbed Fern's shoulder, "Put your wand away, I know how to deal with nuisances like him." _Barely_, he added in his head. The only people who could really set Peeves straight were Dumbledore and the Bloody Baron.

The teen refused to put his wand away. His ears twitched as he could hear muffled giggles from inside a suit of armor, _"Penetrare Fodio__!"_ he said quickly and a fuchsia ray of light went through the suit of armor.

"YEOWCH!" Peeves yelped as he shot out of the armor and grabbed his bum which had been stung. He cursed angrily and floated off someplace to sulk.

Fern then noticed the disapproving look Snape was giving him and tilted his head to the side, "Oh, you know y' wanted to do that n' then some."

"At this rate, Faunabelle, you'll have as much detentions from me as a seasoned student by the end of this month." he growled and had a silent celebration when Fern finally decided to shut up for the rest of the walk.

To Snape's relief the Headmaster's office was right around next corner, they turned and stood in front of a gargoyle outside the office, "Swizzle Twizzle." he said and the door opened.

Fern snorted.

"Is there something funny, Faunabelle?" the Potions master asked stonily.

Fern grinned and shook his head, "_Swizzle Twizzle_." he repeated with a chuckle.

Snape rolled his eyes, _Phineas's son indeed_, "As soon as you are sorted, I will remove so many points from you that your housemates will hate you for your entire experience at Hogwarts." he seethed.

"Ah, Severus, Fern, do come in." Dumbledore said from his desk. Fern had enough shame to blush that his lewd implications were caught. Just how long had the old man been sitting there?

The two males did as he said and took their seats in front of the Headmaster's desk. The old wizard's eyes were twinkling more annoyingly than usual in Snape's opinion, "So nice to see teacher and student getting along so well." he said pleasantly.

Fern also noticed that there was a witch with short, curly blonde hair and gaudy glasses sitting in a seat. She was wearing an unbecoming shade of orange robes and had an acid green quill tucked behind his ear. She must be the one who was going to interview him.

He widened his eyes a little. _Quick Quote Quills_, he seethed in disgust. They were used to exaggerate (_greatly_ exaggerate) whatever someone said. Fern had experimented with it when writing a poem once. Fern quickly hid his ears behind his hair and hoped to that this woman was very uneducated about nymphs.

"Hello, Headmaster, n' how're you today?" the demigod asked politely. _Two-faced little monster_, Snape thought while glaring at him.

Dumbledore beamed, "I'm quite fine, Fern. Oh, where are my manners? Would you care for a lemon sherbet, some tea?" he offered.

The teen nodded, "Yes, please." he accepted the teacup that had levitated into his hand and nibbled on the lemon sherbet he was given.

"I hope you are familiar with Professor Severus Snape, our school's DADA teacher for this year and our Slytherin Head of House."

Fern nodded, "Yeah, but to be honest, I don't see the point of needing to be taught Defense Against District Attorneys. Most of them are very nice, if you're not the prosecuted, that is." he said.

Dumbedlore laughed heartily, his blue eyes twinkled merrily, "Oh, you have the wit of your father, my boy."

"In other words, the wit of a five-year-old." Snape grumbled.

The woman smirked, "We shall see about that." she said curtly.

The old wizard's smile then faltered, "I'd like to introduce you to Miss Rita Skeeter, she will be interviewing you, if you are up to it, that is."

_Skeeter?_ Fern thought in disgust and anger. Dumbledore whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry, the _Daily Prophet _said it was her or nobody." he said remorsefully. Obviously Dumbledore did not like this woman either.

"Charmed, I'm sure." Miss Skeeter said and stretched out her hand. Her eyes had a hungry look to them, as if this interview were a big, juicy meal she was about to devour.

_I'd give her something else big n' juicy to swallow but Merlin knows how many STDs I'd get, _Fern inwardly glowered at the woman with contempt, "Pleasure's mine, sug." he said flatly, his voice was shaking slightly. He flopped into his seat and trained his eyes on his lap.

"Those are very nice contacts you're wearing.' she said.

Fern gave a breathy laugh, "Yeah, thanks." he said, willing himself not to roll his eyes.

Dumbledore and Snape exchanged looks before the Headmaster said, "Will you need us to leave the room for a bit, so you won't be interrupted?" he asked.

Snape was shocked, surely Dumbledore of all people knew what damaged this woman could do if she was left alone with Fern.

Skeeter beamed, making her golden teeth shine in the light, "Yes, that'd be very much obliged."

"Remember, Miss Skeeter an hour, no more,With that, Dumbledore got up to leave and after a small struggle, managed to take Snape along with him.

"Give her as little an answer as possible, Faunabelle." the DADA professor mumbled while passing the teen by.

* * *

><p>"So," Rita said with a plastic smile, "Let's get started, shall we? First question, why do you think the Wizarding world should believe that you are in fact Phineas Faunabelle's son. A son that has been kept secret for - How old are you?<p>

"Sixteen."

"- Sixteen years. There hasn't even been any record of Phineas getting married." Skeeter said.

Fern decided to follow Snape's advice and give brief answers. He licked his lips and spoke, "Well, I am tellin' the truth, you could run a DNA test to prove that. But there were a few reasons why my parents' marriage couldn't be known. One of them was that they both agreed it wouldn't be...healthy, I guess, fer me to live all exposed to cameras clickin' wherever I went. I know Daddy seemed like he was a big show off n' did crazy things in public, but he did value his n' his family's privacy."

Rita's quill was dancing along the notepad, Fern was just able to catch a glimpse of what was written:

_"It has come to the shocking news that the beloved late singer, Phineas Faunabelle, was not only pronounced to be dead for a whole month before public notice, but also has been revealed apparently to have not only a secret wife but a son as well. I am interviewing the said Fern Faunabelle, Phineas' only child. He certainly carries the same arrogant air his father had and his sense of style, or lack thereof._

_When I asked the sixteen-year-old why Phineas had kept him and his mother hush-hush, he responded in that highly uneducated, nasally accent that could only come from a California Valley girl bred with a certain Liverpudlian hippie, "He didn't think it would be healthy for me the live all exposed to cameras clickin' everywhere." He then added disdainfully, "Daddy was a big show off and did crazy things in public. He always kept me n' Maw in the dark."  
><em>

_I could hear the heartbreak and bitterness in the boy's voice. I find this means that the saintly Phineas neglected his son and wife. The poor boy must feel that his father did not want the world to know his family."  
><em>

"Like, that's such a lie!" Fern snarled and pointed at the offending notepad with an accusing finger, "M' Daddy was a busy guy, yeah, but he _never_ neglected me n' Momma!"

Skeeter at first looked startled that Fern had seen the paper but then grinned toothily, she moved the paper away so he couldn't see and then asked, "Oh? Well, when your father was at home, how did he treat you?"

Fern sighed, "He was fab, y' know. As soon as he came home to our cottage - we lived in this big, villa-like cottage, y' see - we'd jus' lie under a tree n' talk about anything I guess: school, magic, music, hunting, dating advice."

"How exactly did Phineas die? Illness? Accident?" a smile ghosted the terrible woman's mouth as she added, "Murder?"

The teen's heart would have stopped if he hadn't reminded himself that this woman knew nothing. _Calm down, son, she's jus' being a hag to ruffle yer feathers, _he assured himself.

He replied in an even tone, "Illness; nobody knows what it was though, or how to cure it. Daddy died a slow death but I feel that me n' Maw eased his pain. Actually, he seemed more at peace when we stopped trying to save him and just accepted what was happening."

"I'm sure Healers could have saved him, why didn't you take him?"

"Well, since there was a fire in the village where we lived, we were unable to access the Healers." he said with a pained grimace.

Skeeter raised an eyebrow, "A fire as well? How _unfortunate_, but you could have Disapparated, dear." she said in a way as if Fern were slow.

The demigod didn't appreciate her tone and retaliated sarcastically, "Ohhh, fer sher. We could've totally Disapparated a critically wounded person who's internal organs were shutting down. It don't take a seasoned Healer to realize that's an ass move, honey."

_As charming as your father, _Skeeter thought sarcastically and narrowed her eyes but kept her smile in place, "W-well, how was his funeral, did his bandmates from the Billywigs attend or were they also kept in the dark abut Phineas's death?"

"We didn't have his funeral yet due to some complications but it will be on the fourth. Morgan, Jekyll, Hyde, and Alekz didn't know, or rather they won't know about this until they read the paper."

Fern looked down at his lap again, he felt horrible that the few men he respected had to find out about their best friend's death like this. There was no helping it though, he had to be careful whom and what he talked about now that was dancing with a man who was most definitely the Devil.

"I imagine that they won't be pleased about this. I mean, ten years of friendship-"

"Thirty-four." Fern interjected.

"After thirty-fours years of friendship...How do you think they are going to react?" Skeeter asked, a smile was playing her overly-red lips.

Fern stroked his soul patch and sighed, "Wouldn't be surprised if they never wanted to talk to our family ever again. Those men have been like uncles to me all m' life. I didn't want to do this to them but it was fer the best, n' I hope they'll understand that."

"Mmm, how sweet of you." Skeeter said with that fake smile of hers again, "They are going to be invited to the funeral, right? And you're also going to attend despite your enrollment in Hogwarts?" she asked.

"Well I hope the gang's gonna be there, even if their main objective is to kick m' ass, I want them to be there. The funeral will be _private_ by the way, n' I'll be there too. S'not gonna be yer typical black n' gloomy funeral either, we're following Momma's family tradition: we'll cry, get wasted, and then we'll try laugh the pain away...Not exactly in that order."

It really did sum up what happened at a nymph funeral. Everybody would get drunk, whether off of alcohol or grief, and cry until no more tears could be shed anymore. It was also tradition for the spouse to get buried alive with the deceased person for three days before being let out. It was a way for the them to say a last goodbye of sorts before moving on in life as a widow or widower.

Skeeter wrinkled her nose, "That's...unique. Incidentally, what family is your mother from?"

"Oh, Maw doesn't have a surname, it's not in our culture." Fern said. He knew it'd be best to hide his identity but he couldn't bear the thought of hiding the side of his family he so proudly honored.

Then came the inevitable question, "And just what culture is that?"

Fern inwardly cringed, this was it, "Fae." he uttered.

If Skeeter was holding her quill, it would had certainly dropped from her talons right now, "Pardon? I'm not sure I heard correctly-"

"Yer fine, sug. Despite all the hair in them, yer ears heard the word 'Fae' clearly." Fern said.

Skeeter had a mixed look as if she wanted to scoot away from Fern and as if Christmas had come early.

_Remember to thank me fer yer raise and/or promotion, sug, _Fern thought bitterly.

The woman's voice was higher pitched than usual as she asked, "So your mother is a faerie?"

"No, m' Maw's a nymph; a wood nymph. I gotta say, you must be slow. I know m' hair is covering m' ears, but you mistook these eyes fer _contacts_?" he asked.

The journalist didn't seem to be fazed by the insult because her eyes were bugging out, "No wonder he never told the public about you." she gasped.

"N' what's that supposed to mean?" Fern asked sternly. _I dare you, I friggin' dare you to insult my Fae blood, bitch._

"Well, I'm not sure if _your_ _people_ know this, but nymphs aren't very looked up upon in Wizard society." Skeeter said.

Fern bared his teeth at her slightly, "Oh, we don't wanna be looked up upon. Just being considered eye-level with ya'll would be askin' too much." he said with sardonic casualness ringing in his voice.

Skeeter shook her head, "I knew Phineas was one to commit social suicide after the other, but this, this really takes the cake. How did Phineas encounter...your mother?" she asked.

Fern squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, he didn't like the way she was referring to his parents' relationship; as if it were some freakish spectacle. "Actually, this school is where the magic all happened. Daddy met Momma in the Forbidden Forest while he was still in school here."

The acid green quill was scribbling in a frantic dance, copying Fern's words and perverting them in ways that he would not exactly know until tomorrow.

Despite her otherwise composed outward appearance, Skeeter was grin ear to ear on the inside. _This interview is definitely going to get me that raise I've been wanting! Oh, my time's almost up, now all I need to do is get the faerie to __cry to put the icing on the cake! _She thought horridly.

"You said there was a fire on the night of your father's death, did you lose your home in the tragedy?"

_I lost much more than my home, _Fern bowed his head and rested his chin on his folded hands, "Yeah...yeah, we did. I still can't get over that. Growin' up in that house, having the family's scent marked into the walls n' wood. So many happy memories just," he made an sweeping gesture with his hand, "up in flames." he said somberly.

"It must have been so sad, losing all your belongings, especially things that belonged to Phineas." Skeeter said in a crooning way.

Fern's eyes became glassy as he remembered on that fateful day, after spending the whole morning and afternoon putting the fire out, when he and his mother and friends had returned to their burned down cottage.

* * *

><p><em>Fern had ran into the giant pile of ashes, rubble, and charred wood. There he sobbed and in a maddened state of grief, dove into the ashes and covered himself in it.<em>

_He was upset that the material shell of his home was destroyed, but he knew it could easily be replaced. But what about the objects that had held within them so many beautiful memories? The family photo book, the bits and bobs his father had been working on, the recording studio where he joked and jammed with his father. The recording studio...His father's music! Phineas had spent all of the spring and summer making new songs for three albums he was planning to release in the fall._

_What was even more important about those songs was that Fucktown had collaborated with his father to make them. They were supposed to be the band's debut albums of sorts in which Fern was finally going to introduced to the public as Phineas's son. Six months of brainstorming, music-making, and anticipation destroyed in one night._

_He looked gravely at his wand and the guitar slung over his back, these were the only two things that he had left of his father. Tears had make streaks in his dirty face, and his expression had twisted up so much that it had frightened Xerxes and Zora from approaching him. Marigold gingerly walked to her boyfriend, knelt near him, and held the distressed teen to her bosom._

_"Shh, Ferny, it'll be okay. Shh, ya still got us. Yer not alone, honey." She whispered in his ear as they rocked back and forth together. Looking down at the boy in her arms__, Marigold was reminded of how much younger and more innocent Fern was compared to her._

_Marigold was nineteen years old and she lived in rough places before she had settled down in Ambrosia forest. She had seen murder before and she herself he done some things she wasn't proud of, but that was how survival worked. Fern never experienced things like that. He was born and raised in this haven. After spending all your life in a place you thought was the safest place in the world, and then having all of that changed in one night really took a toll on your sense of stability.  
><em>

_"Don't say that, it's not gonna fuckin' be alright!" Fern snarled but then settled down, "Not without him. I only got two thing left of him now."_

_Marigold ran her hands through his tangled, golden hair, "N' that's plenty, Fern. I know I sound like an old lady fer this but it's the memories that count. No one can take them away- well they could with a spell, but like, y' dig me, right?"_

_Fern nodded a little, "I dig. But still, I'll guard these," he gestured towards his wand and his guitar, "with m' life."  
><em>

_The strawberry blonde took comfort in Marigold's embrace but he was angry, but not at the Death Eaters for 'angry' didn't come close to describing his feelings for them. He felt angry at Xerxes and Zora, they were all the way over there in the crowd, looking at him as if he were an untouchable or something._

_Marigold was the only one who had approached him. He knew he was being stupid, hell, Fern was sure he'd stay away from himself if he were in their position. But still, this was why Marigold was his favorite of the three. She was the oldest, the wisest, and made him feel so safe.  
><em>

_"Bambi!" Florence's broken voice had called. Marigold helped Fern up and the boy stumbled at first but managed to run to his mother's side._

_"Momma, you shouldn't be here." Fern said with a worried frown._

_She was badly burned and bandages were wrapped all over her arms and right thigh and ankle. Although people had performed charms on her and gave her potions, she still was in no state to be moving around._

_The patroness smiled sadly and despite the tiredness in his face, her eyes were brighter than they had been for the past fourteen hours, "I'll be fine, I'll be fine, but that's not important fer now. Look a' what I found." she gave Fern a cracked picture frame that held the smiling and waving image of himself, Phineas, and Florence._

_If this was able to be saved from the ashes then...then maybe there were other items hidden in the remains. "Whe-" Fern's voice cracked and he swallowed to compose himself, "Where did you find this?" he asked and looked at his mother with unusually wide eyes. Florence pointed toward one of the many mounds of rubble and Fern was running toward it in a flash._

_He frantically pawed through it and didn't stop until he found something that made his heart leap. He would have cried from joy but because he used up all his tears, he laughed instead. It was soft and broken, nothing at all like his usual booming laughter.  
><em>

_Fern had found a round, perfectly intact, black vinyl record. Although the label was brown around the edges, it clearly wrote 'Phineas Faunabelle: Kids Sing the Damnedest Things' in his father's messy, loopy handwriting._

_"Goldie, Zora, Xerxes, come 'ere." Fern said when his chortling had managed to calm down. His three friends gathered around him and they gasped when they saw what was in his hands.  
><em>

_A few tears ran down Marigold's face. Zora shook her head in disbelief, "Oh, thank God, Fern." she whispered.  
><em>

_Fern gave a bright grin but it came out slightly watery, "Well, jus' don't stand there, lads, let's see if we can find more things. If we're lucky, we'll find the other two albums." he encouraged._

_For the rest of the day, the quartet searched for things and there was a surprising many hidden in the waste. All of the real valuables seemed to be recovered, both the Fae and Wizard family heirlooms were safe along with Phineas's records and even his demos._

* * *

><p>Fern swallowed the lump and his throat and shook his head, "Actually no. All our precious things were protected, thank God. I'd say that those objects had anti-destruction, now that I think about it. I'm not too surprised though."<p>

Rita's upper lip slightly lifted in the beginning of a sneer but she inquired in a 'pleasant' voice, "Did your father have anything he was working on, like a new album, on the night of his death?"

"Yeah, he did, three actually. Thankfully all of them, along with his personal collection of his old ones, were charmed as well."

Although Rita was put off that she didn't get Fern to cry, an article about Phineas's last, post-houmous albums was still interesting. She was about to ask another question when Dumbledore and Snape came back into the room.

"Your hour is up, Miss Skeeter. I trust the interview went well, Fern?" Dumbledore asked.

Fern tilted his head from side to side in a 'so-so' gesture, "We'll find out in the headlines, yeah? Can we, like, just get this Sorting thing outta the way 'cause I'm exhausted."

Dumbledore shook his head, "Oh no, your Sorting will be right after the first years at the Great Hall, in fact, we need to go right now." He rose from his seat and walked to his fireplace.

Rita couldn't help but grin, "Oh, Professor Dumbledore, might you spare me a few more minutes so I can feature which House Fern was sorted into?"

"Although that would be nice for the readers to know, I do not thin-" the Headmaster was cut off by Rita's instance.

"Oh but please, Headmaster, I-"

A rather nasty glare from Snape had the woman retreating with her tail between her legs, "Er, quite right, I shall save that for another time." She then turned to walk away but Dumbledore stopped her.

"If it would be alright with you, Miss Skeeter, I would like for you to stay in my office and wait until I come back to safely escort you from the castle." the aged man said, "Come along, Fern."

The teenager complied but Rita was disgruntled, "Why, Professors, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you didn't trust me."

The raven haired man sneered at her, "It is a good thing you don't know any better then." With that, he promptly slammed the office door in her face, a locking charm was made so she wouldn't be able to open the door from the inside and the floo connection had temporarily frozen. It would not do for the school to have a certain parasite roaming the halls.

When the first years had finished being sorted, it was Dumbledore's cue to stand up, "Excuse me, teachers and students." he said in his magically amplified voice, "I have the great pleasure to introduce a student to the Sixth-year class. Fern, if you would come here please."

Fern had to squint his already narrow eyes even further to see where Dumbledore was, this fickle candle light was playing havoc with his already iffy eyesight.

Dumbledore continued, "This is F-"

Fern stopped him, "Naw, I wanna do it, I wanna do it." he cleared his throat, "So, like, I'm Fern Faunabelle. I'm sixteen years old n' I came all the way from California to be here so I hope you guys treat me well. I'm sher ya'll can tell by m' last name that, yeah, I'm Phineas Faunabelle's son, but-"

An excited clamor issued through the Great Hall, some even came from a couple professors. Fern winced and looked at the elderly man, as soon as they quieted down, he'd have to break the sad news to them and soon their squeals would turn into sobs.

Dumbledore nodded gravely and put his hands up to silence the noise, "I'm afraid I have bad news about Fern's father. Phineas Faunabelle died about four weeks ago in his home in California."

The deafening silence was only broken by a scattered gasps and "What"s here and there.

Fern then said soberly, "I...I know it's a real shock fer some of you, it's been a month fer me n' I'm still in denial. Although some of ya'll may or may not have liked m' Dad, I'd like you to just say a prayer fer him."

The headmaster gave Fern a much needed pat on the shoulder and said, "Well, now that things are explained...Fern, if you would sit down on this stool and put the Sorting Hat on?"

The demigod hopped onto said stool and Dumbledore placed the Hat on him.

"My, aren't you a little old for being Sorted?" the Hat asked.

Fern jumped a little but didn't seem too surprised, "A talking hat, eh...? Um, like, I'm a transfer student." he responded.

"I see, I see. Mm, yes, oh, it seems to me that you are a Slytherpuff." the Hat said.

"I'm a _what_?"

"Slytherpuff, just a word I made up for people who would do just fine in both Slytherin and Hufflepuff. They're rather rare."

Fern wrinkled his nose, he didn't have anything personal against Slytherins but he'd rather stay out of such a competitive House. "Well, what am I more of? Am I more of a Hufflepuff?" he asked tentatively.

"No need to worry. While you do have your cunning moments, you have are loyal to your loved ones and your causes. A HUFFLEPUFF INDEED!" the hat announced.

The strawberry blonde's face broke into a beaming smile as his new Housemates applauded him, he hopped off the stool and joined his table.

_"Can ya see me, Daddy? Are ya proud?"_

**Chapter ended. Find out was happens next in the next chapter, which means you'll have to wait another twenty years =.=**

**Yeah, I know I NEVER update and that's really lame of me but I PROMISE to hustle my lazy arse and write up another chapter, even if it is just one paragraph.**


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